You might have noticed how in the past 20-30 years many things have changed. And I am not talking about cars, buildings or stocks trends. I am talking about things like ideal body image, desire for wealth and the way we seek happiness, the way we try not to only seek physical health but mental and emotional health have become almost more important. Many of us have come to realize that having a secure job, significant other or a few friends does not cut it anymore. Have you noticed how many people seek to go higher, be better and do better? Many trends come and go but this one, I think is here to stay. My mother while giving a toast at any party or celebration used to always say “I could wish you wealth, but it only comes with health, so I wish you health instead.” I did not understand it as well as I do now how right she was. There are so many wealthy but unhappy people. They have achieved what they thought was their dream, but does it really bring happiness when there is no emotional stability? When you still feel like a child seeking approval of others? Can you be happy when the only reason you wanted to be wealthy was to prove you could?
I simply love seeing people that want to make this world better and from the looks of it there are many more of them now than there was before. Now, don’t get a wrong idea about my ability to see the world. I am well aware of what is happening in the world and the magnitude of it all. I am not talking about that though. I am talking about the war we all fight within ourselves, every second of the day. Thinking, seeking and wanting to be better is just the beginning of something greater than us. So, what do all of these people that I look up to do differently than me?
They love unconditionally! So simple but yet so complicated.
People that come as close to happiness and peace as possible are the ones that give love unconditionally. They know how to give without an expectation to receive. I get hurt when my child tells me they do not love me, or choose my partner over me – I get hurt. I get hurt even though I know it is not intended to hurt me. They speak the truth about their feeling at that exact moment; it could be because I just took away the candy they were hiding or because they were told to clean their room, but it still hurts. Have you ever been hurt because the person you did something good for (even though they did not ask for it) did not return the favor when you expected them to? The truth is that they do not have to! They never asked you for a favor, you supposedly did it to make them feel better, or maybe make yourself feel proud but the fact is that when you do such a thing you need to be absolutely sure that you are okay with it being just that. An act of kindness without any expectation of a return.
We are conditioned to love and have a desire to be loved. As I am certain that a feeling of being loved comes first, it might be more important than to find and love someone.
This ability to love unconditionally and find peace is not just served on a silver platter. People work long and hard for it. I doubt that a mind that cannot be present and doesn’t know how to relax can love this way. Here are a few things that you might consider learning in order to achieve that higher ability to love and be at peace. This list is in a particular order; it is like building a foundation for a strong house.
You learn how your mind works. Through ability to understand your mind, you train it to understand others. You start to differentiate that instead of being solid it is better to adapt and go with it. You learn to see the connection with the surroundings of other people and you accept it. You train yourself to be happy for others and do not judge what is best for them or their well being. You focus on your happiness only. You start to accept other things, situations and other people as they are, and try to fit in, rather than destroy.
This all of course cannot be achieved without achieving a few key elements first.
There is so much information on that nowadays, again picking the “right” way can be so complicated that you might just want to give up and continue on with whatever you were doing before (even if it did not work very well for you). The best strategy when it comes to nutrition is first consuming non-processed foods; second of all keep everything in moderation. It is also important to eat at least 3 meals a day to keep your body and mind working smoothly. I love the idea of intermittent fasting once in awhile to give your body a break.
I am not sure what there is more of, diet program or exercise styles. There might be a tie. You really do not need fancy gyms or treadmills to be active enough to be good to your body and keep your heart healthy. How about as soon as you wake up doing a few sets of push ups, planks, lunges and squats? Go for a walk or run in the evening to clear your mind. It is really that simple. Don’t be fooled by exhausting exercise routines and “get abs fast” fads. You really do not need any of that. It has been scientifically proven that too much exercise can actually do more damage than good so choose wisely.
As you know it is all connected: your body, your mind and your soul. Until you can provide wellness to each of them you simply cannot be whole, happy and content. Good luck and let us know what are the ways you achieve your happiness.