We have all heard the term, “Life is Short” and there are so many people we come in contact with on a daily basis, we get caught up in life and forget to give people grace (when needed). Holding a grudge is one of the most overlooked things in life because it doesn’t seem like you are doing anything wrong at the time, but you are creating a huge barrier of entry to your heart long term.
After someone betrays you or hurts you, a guard immediately goes up and you hold a grudge to protect yourself from further betrayal. By protecting yourself you (or so you may think), are actually hurting yourself worse in the long run. When you hold a grudge, you are only hurting yourself because you can’t rise above the heat and be the bigger person. You are also limiting a relationship from growing at all, which in turn will lead to a dead end relationship. With the way life twists and turns, it is a dangerous road if you burn bridges over really simple things (in the grand scheme of life).
How To Let Go
Acknowledging feelings were hurt, and they were real feelings is a great place to start. Just telling the person what is going on is extremely hard to do, but it is the first step in healing and letting go. Voicing your feelings is one of the hardest things to do, but it will serve you better in the long haul. If you are holding onto the grudge ask yourself why, and if it is really worth holding onto anymore. Similar to cleaning out your home from clutter, ask yourself the same type of questions. If letting go of the grudge scares you, there is a deeper-rooted problem that goes far beyond the hurt of the person.
Put yourself in the other person's shoes for a moment. Always try to exclude yourself from the situation, to try and see their point of view to better understand the misunderstanding.Always think of the trade of when it comes to actually holding a grudge, and then letting it go. You are granting yourself relational freedom, which will serve your conscious good in the end. Remember that this grudge does not own you, or make you who you are. I don’t know about you, but when I hold a grudge I feel like a bad person deep down and I mix that emotion with the “I’m right in the way I am feeling” mantra. These two contradict each other in more ways than one. The easiest way, is to talk about it and try your hardest to come to equal terms with your feelings.
Talk to friends, but don’t make them grow weary with listening to your unforgiving ways. To let go of a grudge is to go deep within yourself to really forgive someone for the wrong they may or may not have done to you. This doesn’t have to come right away, but be mindful that holding a grudge for too long is not a healthy way to live you life. If you find yourself holding too many grudges, take a step back and evaluate yourself as a friend and a person. Always try and find some positives into the situation, and do your best to simply forgive. Try to talk about your feelings, and take care of an issue as soon as it comes up so no feelings fester. You can achieve peace, simply find yourself in the process!